Decorative Upright Female Urination System

Ladies, are you sick and tired of your dignity? Are you fed up with having to carry around that last ounce of self-respect? Are there still a few people in the office who look at you without wincing in disgust? Would you rather live in the park and eat pigeons all day? Do you want to watch your pee drizzle out of a funnel and into a decorative bucket? Do you want to pay somebody $59.95 for the privilege? Well, I guess fate has smiled upon you for one last time, because I’ve got exactly what you need!

That’s right! Now you can finally stumble around town with a piss-filled container sloshing around between your legs, just like you’ve always dreamed! Children will scream, old women will faint, and squirrels will spontaneously combust as you wave your arms in the air and growl like a cornered puma. Somebody will probably tackle you eventually and maybe even put you out of your misery, but at least you’ll die knowing that you gave Courtney Love a run for her money.

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