NONSENSE

Executive Decision Maker

Should you layoff another 20,000 employees? Do you deserve a bigger raise? Is it time to buy another yacht? As a powerful corporate executive, you’re faced with a mountain of tough decisions everyday. Some of them are so difficult, it can take you well over 2 minutes to come up with an answer. In this fast-paced, cut-throat, dog-eat-dog world…that’s just unacceptable. Time is money! You know that better than anyone.

Don’t you wish there was a way to ease your heavy burden? Isn’t it time somebody catered to your needs for a change? Commoners have no idea how rough and tumble an executive’s life can be. According to some numbers I made up, mild-discomfort levels among the nation’s top CEOs are skyrocketing and euphoric-happiness levels are plummeting! It’s time to escape, and Diamond Dave is the only man who can free you from your decision-making prison.

It’s simple. Just fill up two buckets with pure Columbian cocaine and set them at the end of your desk. Mark one of them YES, and the other one NO. Press the big red button and watch David Lee Roth come charging out of his cage. Whichever bucket he stuffs his head in first…that’s your answer!

You’ll never have to trouble your delicate mind with another tough decision ever again. Just make sure you don’t run out of coke, or Dave will tear your black heart straight out of your fucking chest.

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